Home » W. C. Fields W. C. Fields W. C. Fields 1 Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia. W. C. Fields Living, Philadelphia, Here Add to Collection 2 All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. W. C. Fields Family, Women, Men Add to Collection 3 The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart. W. C. Fields Living, Cost, Dollar Add to Collection 4 Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. W. C. Fields Lunch, Out, Some Add to Collection 5 I must have a drink of breakfast. W. C. Fields Breakfast, Drink, Must Add to Collection 6 Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket. W. C. Fields Head, Pocket, Favorable Add to Collection 7 Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. W. C. Fields Easy, Done Add to Collection 8 If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind. W. C. Fields Prosperity, Far Add to Collection 9 I drink therefore I am. W. C. Fields Self Confidence, Drink, Therefore Add to Collection 10 Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. W. C. Fields Life, Beautiful, Experience Add to Collection 11 Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields Travel, Food, Water Add to Collection 12 Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one. W. C. Fields Women, Want, Look Add to Collection 13 If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. W. C. Fields Funny, Life, My Life Add to Collection 14 Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil. W. C. Fields Great, Devil, Husband Add to Collection 15 Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. W. C. Fields Remember, Fish, Live Add to Collection 16 Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live. W. C. Fields Heart, Worry, Live Add to Collection 17 I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. W. C. Fields Water, Drink, Never Add to Collection 18 Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it. W. C. Fields Sex, Better, Worse Add to Collection 19 The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. W. C. Fields Man, Turn, Pancakes Add to Collection 20 Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed. W. C. Fields Week, Philadelphia, Last Add to Collection 21 You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. W. C. Fields Trust, Water Add to Collection 22 I never vote for anyone. I always vote against. W. C. Fields Vote, Always, Never Add to Collection 23 Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. W. C. Fields Milk, Cry, May Add to Collection 24 I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. W. C. Fields Snake, See, Bottle Add to Collection 1 2 3 next › last »
